Keto Dieting and Me

Christopher brought up the Keto Diet.  I've been reading about it and I even tried for us once.  I got the flu.  A couple of weeks ago I started talking to Courtney about it.  She's been doing Keto for more than a year and she loves it AND she's been losing weight like crazy.  We talked and she helped me get over some of the fears I was having about it.  It seems that with my life, there are times when things are difficult and the path is blocked.  So I stop doing what I was doing because obviously it's not working.  And then something changes and bamb....the path opens up and here I go.  This is what happened with this Keto diet. 

the first time around I was so frustrated, it seemed so hard.  The menu, the recipes, the expectations...all pointing in the direction of it not working.  Then I got the flu and I was like.  OK, I'm done.

Now, the menu came together really nicely.  The meals are really delish and my body/mind seems to be ready to do this.  So here we go.  I'm also not doing this with Christopher or for Christopher.  I'm doing it for me.  He may or may not eat the foods with me.  Which he's welcome to.  Although, I need to tell him that if he's gonna be doing this, he needs to come up with recipes and cook some of this food.  It can't fall on me 100%.  But if he goes another direction with this diet, I'm cool with that.  This isn't about him, it's about me and losing this weight that I've gained.  I just don't like how my body looks.  I see glimpses of my beauty but then I see the fat.  It's not good.  I should just love myself for what it is.  and I do, but i'd rather be skinnier.

So I started the actual diet yesterday.  It was hard in the afternoon but I think as time goes on I'll be able to tweek it. I pretty much nailed my macros and came under calories.  I ate 1400 calories instead of the 1500 that is allotted to me!  I know, how can you survive on 1500 calories???  I don't know, hopefully skinnier!  haha

I had more energy after coming home, which was nice.  I cooked like crazy and made dinner (big mac salad), the next meal (chili), and 2 snacks.  It was a lot of food.  I'll make some fat bombs this evening but I'm mostly going to sit with Christopher and watch a movie.  It'll be fun.

If I keep on this diet I will lose weight.  I have no doubt about it.  I'll also write on this blog how I feel as I go. Wouldn't that be fun!

oh and DAMN, was I depressed 10 years go!  oh my god, I really did need to leave Kai.  I was so unhappy.  I don't feel like that anymore.  Sometimes I'm sad but mostly, I'm good.  I'm ok with what's going on with me!